Just when I was content living within my walls, enjoying my solitude and finally accepting a life on my own, with me, myself and I, HE came out of nowhere. Crashing through my walls and setting fire to my world. It's so foreign to me to actually have a man treat me with so much love and respect and find myself doubting his love knowing I only doubt because of my past and how my ex treated me. My ex was far from a nice guy, he broke me down till I was just a hollow shell of a person, he made be doubt why anyone could ever find me beautiful, sexy, funny and mostly how anyone could ever love me. I spent the past four years rebuilding myself, learning to love myself the way I am and finally asking myself what I wanted my life to be like. I put myself out there went on a few dates and talked to a few guys but they all ended in disinterest or only wanting sex disguised as they really did want more (insert dramatic eyeroll) I had officially given up the hope of finding love, I put my true romantic heart to bed and was ready to except my single status for the rest of my life when life had a different plan in store. I never even meant to reply it was just another guy wanting to hook up right? Curiosity won over logic and I clicked on his picture and the moment I saw his cute smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, something in me had to know more, I needed to know who this guy was and more importantly why would he message me? From the very first message he was able to hold my attention, with every ding of my phone I was constantly smiling, laughing and for once not wondering why me anymore. Instead I felt like I was picking up a conversation with someone I had known my whole life. He was so funny like genuinely funny, and when the opportunity presented its self to facetime I took it! Without hesitation or fear I facetimed him no makeup, no let me change so I looked sexy and cute but like I am totally not trying either. I was just Lex, fresh faced baggy black shirt and messy curly hair and from that moment on I loved talking to him, hearing his stories and the cute rambles he would go on. Six months later and I’m still captivated by his smile but now it reaches his eyes, now when I look into those deep brown eyes, I see a future that I never let myself dream was possible. I am so beyond thankful for whatever forces brought us together thankful the girls that didn't value the wonderful man that was sitting in front of then, but most of all I am thankful for all the struggles and heartache I have been through because they lead me straight to him.
